BSB Adult Connection

We'd Die Laughing...

»Reactions to Kevin's new 'do AKA The Mohawk« AJ: *trying hard not to laugh* "Ummm, Kev, I think the party for The Clash has been over for a couple weeks now."
Brian: *horrified* "He's not my cousin."
Howie: *shaking his head* "First the skirt and now this... Perhaps that Maria from BSBAC was right and there is a Pod Kevin."
Nick: *dies laughing*
Ann Richardson: "He was once normal... really, he was. I have pictures..."

»Reactions to Nick's Arrest« Kevin: *sitting on the dock of the bay wasting time when he hears it on the radio* "I'm gonna kill him... so help me God...!"
AJ: *stomping around angrily* "He has GOT to stop trying to outdo me - first Kid Nicky and now this...!"
Leighanne to Brian: *rolls her eyes* "That would've been you if I hadn't come along."
Brian: *grinning*: "I thought you liked bad boys? Remember last night when we played cop and bad Baptist boy? You cuffed me, and..."
Howie: "Great! As if I wasn't embarrassed enough by Kevin's retarded skirt fetish!"
The Firm: "And we thought Limp Bizkit would be giving us problems. Never judge a group by it's prettiness."
Nick: *sitting at home a few hours after the incident biting his nails* "I did nothing wrong. I'm a good guy. But is Kevin gonna believe me? Noooooooooooo! I wonder if there's such a thing as the Protect Innocent Blonde Babe From Kevin's Wrath program?"

»Show Me the Meaning«

A reporter is asking Nick what his new feet tattoos signify. He says it's a heritage thing while the others are thinking...

Brian: That he's been walked on his entire life. Why didn't he just write a book? Oh yea, cause he's Nick.
AJ: It's for the ladies man! Instructions on where to put their feet during sex.
Howie: I don't know, but I'm thinking that they won't look pretty when he's 75 and has those droopy, saggy man breasts.
Kevin: Signify? There is no significance. Nick doesn't think. I mean, who walks into a tattoo parlor and says, "Hey put some big ass paws on my tits please cause I wanna look cool!" *shakes head*
Nick: *hears snickering and pouts*

»The Japanese Bath Ladies«

The Boys decide to take advantage of an afternoon off while in Japan and go to a bathhouse. Everyone is getting ready to step into the steamy water when the 'bath ladies' arrive...

Brian: *looking petrified* "You're wanna wash WHAT?!?!"
Nick: *playing tug of war with one bath lady as she tries to tear the towel away from him* "NOBODY sees or touches my tummy!"
AJ: *grinning* "I wonder if they work underwater?"
Howie: *stomping his foot angrily* "No, no, no…I am not sharing bath water - the shower was bad enough!"
Kevin: *dropping his towel and focusing on one bath lady* "You're gonna wash everything and I mean everything."

»Boo! Hiss! and a Diss!«

Willa Ford walks by BSB at the MTV VMAs...

Brian: God is watching, I better wave and smile at her.
Howie: *irked* Aww man! Brian smiled at her. That means I gotta now, too. Cause I'm the nice one. I don't wanna lose my title.
Kevin: *checking her out* I didn't know you could make a dress out of silk curtains. I wonder if my mom's got any old curtains laying around in the basement? The Billboard Awards are coming up...
AJ: *poking Nick* "Nicky it's Mandy! I mean Mandah...erm, Willa? Has she changed her name again?" *peering at her* Man she ain't got no bra on. Well, she ain't got no titties either. *laughs*
Nick: *ignores AJ AND Willa* If I'd known she was gonna show up here in the curtains she bought when we were living together, I'd have come down with the stomach flu. And who is that with her? Poor sucker.

»A Song in a Minor«

The Boys spot a pretty albeit scantily-clad minor in the audience....

Kevin: *shocked* Her father actually let her out of the house wearing THAT?
Nick: *Hiding Thor* I wonder when she'll be 18...?
AJ: *leering inconspicuously* I wonder if it's illegal to ogle a teenager in this state?
Howie: *preening* Yea, yea...stop screaming. I know that my hair rocks.
Brian: *hands over eyes* Where's Leighanne? I'm not looking - honest. I only have eyes for my scantily-clad wife.